And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
