i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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