the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
