happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
50% drunk capacity currently
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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