At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
me + whiskey = a bad person
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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