I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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