THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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