hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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