i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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