Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's shark week go big or go home
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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