he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
