gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize