Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
