i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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