google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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