Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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