Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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