So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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