i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
