I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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