seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
