just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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