id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
