Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's blow job season.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
