ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just pee around me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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