The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize