if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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