oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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