Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
