the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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