no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
