honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
