Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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