I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
