And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
