I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
