I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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