On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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