Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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