omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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