dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
