can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
