i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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