So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
