Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so let's talk penis.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
