How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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