i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
