therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
