I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
