Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
