This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize