Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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