is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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