ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
