some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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