so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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