I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
