I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
