i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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