Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
