All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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