Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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